I was always kind of a geek. Since the first time I saw the first Star Wars when I was 10. It was 1997, the “special edition” era. So yes, I thought that horrendous CGI Jabba the Hutt was an original part of the movie… again, I was 10…
That wasn’t the only “geek credit” I had back then, of course. I was the kid who knew almost every single line of dialog from Jurassic Park, Back To The Future, Terminator, and of course I had to prove it every single time to many other kids: “tell the part when the Doc finds Marty’s letter in his pocket!”
Being the kind of introvert that I am, I was always also a very “selective” kind of geek. I used to focus on one particular subject at the time and mostly neglect the rest. For instance, from the second I read my first Batman comic when I was about 5 I just fell in love with that whole story. To this day I still read and re-read Batman every once in a while. However, I know It’s usually the case that once you read A comic book, you’re gonna get into ALL comic books. To be honest this was never my case. For me It’s Batman and it ends there. I can mention the most obscure and out of left-field batman stories and remember almost every single modern age appearance of the Joker or Scarecrow, but I barely know any single thing about Superman, other than his alter-ego is named Clark Kent. I tried. I was never hooked. Not with Superman, not with Flash, not with Green Lantern, not even with any of the Marvel people either…
The case was similar with Star Wars. I can still recite almost every single line of the first three movies and I still re-watch them from time to time. Before you expect a cliche, I DO like the prequels, probably because I kinda grew up with them and Episode 1 came very shortly after I got into the whole saga. But I was never the kind of fan to devour every single piece of content with the Star Wars label on it. I am yet to watch a single episode of The Mandalorian. It’s not a diss, I’m just not interested. Again, avoiding cliches, It’s not even a “not my star wars” or “anti-Disney” thing. It’s not resistance, It’s indifference.
There was a brief moment near my late 20s (I’m 35 now btw) when I thought I had to really embrace the geek in me. So I went out of my way to consume content I was basically not very interested in: TV shows, superhero movies, video games, comics I never read before. Soon I realized I was doing this because I was looking to appease a certain crowd, a certain group of people that, just because I was obsessed with Batman comics felt they had to recommend Spawn to me… I can’t name even one Spawn character…
After I realized this and eventually I stopped trying to be a cliche geek, stopped wearing Star Wars tees (I still own a couple, because they are comfy tho) and stopped trying to be who a few others thought I had to be, the weight was relieved.
Today I wouldn’t label myself as a Geek the way I would have proudly done it a few years ago. I’m more of a “selective fan”. I don’t need Star Wars paraphernalia around the house to prove I love Star Wars (I’m looking at you Baby Yoda hoarders).
I realized my love for those things comes almost exclusively from nostalgia (and there’s nothing wrong with that). That’s why I’m just not compelled to consume “new content” about most of my favorite “geek subjects”. Instead of trying to “expanding my universe” or broadening my existing knowledge or tenure about Star Wars or Batman, I just reverted to what about them made me happy as a kid, and just revisit that. I just freaking love modern age Batman comics (1986/2008) so I just read (and re-read) those, the same way I would listen to a classic album like Rubber Soul over and over again over the years.
You don’t have to follow the guidelines. You don’t have to have the looks. After years of buying every single geek-themed t-shirt I could find, I’ve been wearing plain grey and black tees for about 6 years now, and I’ve never felt more like myself.
So I guess my message is: You can absolutely go crazy obsessive about ONE character, about ONE story, about ONE sci-fi or 80s action film. Chances are you already geek over more than one, but don’t feel like you HAVE to know them all, otherwise you’re not “a proper geek”. Don’t feel pressed to like something. Be mindful of how (and if) it gives you joy and/or value and exploit that on your own terms. Forget about templates and cliches, be your own kind of geek.
